Teen Advice Column
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By Kristine Ethier
- Greetings! I'm new to the internet and am starting a teen
advice column that you can e-mail problems to and I'll answer
back. Since I'm not your parents, or an adult authority figure,
I can give you advice that will probably make more sense to you.
- I'm a 17 year old average teenager, and female I might add.
I'm not here to tell you what to do, or give you age old advice
like "you'll thank them later," I've probably had alot
of similar experiences, and I'll be able to relate to you better
than Mom, Dad, or Mrs. Lockley- your math teacher. I'm a grade
12 student who like many of you have my own opinions and thoughts.
I like partying, movies, shopping, and just hanging out with
friends.
I think its pretty cool that you are helping teenagers out
when they need advice and stuff.. we need more people like that.
Greg Moon
AKA: Moondogg
Thanks a bunch for the encouragement!! I really appreciate it,
and I really enjoy helping people, I do my best.....
Kristine
Dear Kristine,
My mom doesn't like my boyfriend but I do like him. Lately he
has been treating me like dirt and hanging out with his friends
more then with me. My best friend and her sister think I can do
better but I don't think so. I am 5'3 1/2" tall and am a
little on the heavy side. My mom keeps telling me to date cowboys
but I can't find one that will treat me right. One cowboy I dated
hit me but I never told my mom.
My mom also tells me I party too much. I go out on weekends and
party with my boyfriend and his and my friends but I don't always
get drunk. I don't do drugs either but my boyfriend and his friends
are heavy into the drugs. Should I listen to my mom and friends
and dump him or what should I do? Do you think partying on the
weekends is too much?
Signed
Desperate in Colorado
Desperate,
Well, first let me say that I think you should date whomever you
want, within reason of course :), and not have to select a type
of guy such as "cowboy". Doing that is basically eliminating
all the great guys that aren't cowboys that you could have a great
relationship with.
Second, you say your mom doesn't like your boyfriend, but you
do....even though he treats you like dirt, and spends all his
time with his friends? Although I'm glad you're asking for advice
and choosing for yourself, I think your friends might be right
on this one. For one thing, it doesn't matter what size, shape,
height you are, you deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone
does. Another point I'd like to make is that if your boyfriend
is heavy into drugs, he might not be the greatest influence on
you. Now, I'm not going to act like your mom and harp on the drug
issue, but I've seen first-hand the effects of them. And pretty
soon you may find that your boyfriend will be more into drugs
than he is into you.
Partying on weekends is fine. It's fun, social and hey, it's a
WEEKEND!! Okay almost everyone drinks every now and again, but
it's understandable that your mom is worried. Not too many mothers
are all happy about their kids going out and getting drunk every
weekend. But if you can't have fun without drinking (which I'm
sure you can...) then I'd be really worried.
My advice to you is to find a boy who respects and treats you
well, cowboy or not. You're the one dating him, not your mom right?
Also, make sure your mom knows that you're doing other things,
like shopping, playing pool, or just hanging out with friends,
Preferably clean ones....so she won't think your drinking all
the time, which you shouldn't....
Good Luck, and don't worry you'll find a great guy, just remember
to be confident, guys like girls who are confortable with themselves.
Kristine :)
DEAR KRISTINE,
MY BEST FRIEND FROM LAST YEAR IS MAKINGA FOOL OUT OF ME THIS YEAR
SHE TALKS BEHIND MY BACK AND SAID MEAN THINGS ABOUT MY NEW FRIEND
TO THERE FACE AND THEY JUMPED HER AND NOW SHE IS MAD AT ME.
BYE,
DESTINY
Destiny,
I think you should lose her as a friend period. Real friends don't
talk behind eachothers backs, or say mean things about anything
she likes, espescially people. Not that I approve of the jumping
thing, I guess she's got to learn to keep her mouth shut. Don't
even worry about her getting mad at you, you should be mad at
her, not the other way around. I'm sure you have better things
to do than bother with backstabbers. Don't bother trying to get
back at her, or talk behind her back, you don't want to act as
childish as she is. Let her know if she wants real friends, then
she's going to have to learn to act like one.
Kristine :)
Parents don't like my friends!
Kris:
My parents don't like my friends! They are constantly bugging
me when there around, and telling me that they're bad influences.
They've even told methat I'm no longer to hang out with them anymore!
They're my best friends, and are not wierd, bad, or 'teenage punks'.
How can I make my parents understand that I have a right to hang
around anyone I want to, and make
them understand that my friends are not bad influences?
Jamie
Jamie:
First, is there any particular reason your parents have negative
feelings toward them? Have they gotten into trouble that your
parents know about? Are you mouthy or negative to your parents
when you're around them?
If it's not any of these things, then ask them exactly what it
is they don't like about them. Ask them to give them a fair chance
and to allow themselves to get to know them first, before they
pass judgement. Don't scream, or get really defensive, the conversation
won't get anywhere, and your parents won't pay attention to what
you're saying.
Get your friends to come over, (make sure you have the OK of your
parents, otherwise they won't think any better of them) and maybe
have dinner at your house. Encourage a little conversation, (I
know, yuck, you don't want to hang around your parents, but believe
me, it's to your benefit in the end) but don't put your parents
on the spot, (things like 'see, they aren't juvenile deliquents
mom!, are not the things you should say.)
On the other hand, if they have gotten into trouble in the past,
ask your parents to give them another chance, point out there
good points and tell them that it won't happen again. Hopefully
they'll keep and open mind.
Good Luck!
Dear Kristine,
I'm in eighth grade and so is this guy I like. A few weeks ago
he told me he liked me. A week later he wrote something very offensive
on my desk at school. After that everything was back to normal.
But today, he was acting differntly and not talking to me. I confronted
him and he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. I haven't
done anything to him, but I was absent for a while and I wonder
if something could've happened while I was gone. The main problem
is that I still like him. What should I do?
signed, really confused
Dear Really Confused,
I think this boy you like is having a hard time deciding what
he wants. Maybe you should find out if something did happen while
you were absent, that could be an explanation to his attitude.
I know it must hurt to hear him say he wants nothing to do with
you, but don't get upset with him unless you know if there is
a good reason why he's angry.
If there isn't, then you should confront him to his all of a sudden
having no interest in you. That isn't fair and he should at least
give you a reason why. It's perfectly understandable that you
still like him, and deep down he probablly still likes you, but
is having a hard time dealing with it, or trying to decide if
he should be angry about whatever might have happened while you
were absent.....Don't give up yet unless he is still acting cold
and rude towards you.
There are alot nicer guys out there and I'm sure you're bound
to get
sick of being treated like dirt. Good Luck. I hope things work
out, and if they don't work out with him, I'm sure they'll work
out with someone else.
Kristine :)
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