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By Kristine Ethier

Greetings! I'm new to the internet and am starting a teen advice column that you can e-mail problems to and I'll answer back. Since I'm not your parents, or an adult authority figure, I can give you advice that will probably make more sense to you.
I'm a 17 year old average teenager, and female I might add. I'm not here to tell you what to do, or give you age old advice like "you'll thank them later," I've probably had alot of similar experiences, and I'll be able to relate to you better than Mom, Dad, or Mrs. Lockley- your math teacher. I'm a grade 12 student who like many of you have my own opinions and thoughts. I like partying, movies, shopping, and just hanging out with friends.


I think its pretty cool that you are helping teenagers out when they need advice and stuff.. we need more people like that.
Greg Moon
AKA: Moondogg

Thanks a bunch for the encouragement!! I really appreciate it, and I really enjoy helping people, I do my best.....
Kristine


Dear Kristine,
My mom doesn't like my boyfriend but I do like him. Lately he has been treating me like dirt and hanging out with his friends more then with me. My best friend and her sister think I can do better but I don't think so. I am 5'3 1/2" tall and am a little on the heavy side. My mom keeps telling me to date cowboys but I can't find one that will treat me right. One cowboy I dated hit me but I never told my mom.

My mom also tells me I party too much. I go out on weekends and party with my boyfriend and his and my friends but I don't always get drunk. I don't do drugs either but my boyfriend and his friends are heavy into the drugs. Should I listen to my mom and friends and dump him or what should I do? Do you think partying on the weekends is too much?
Signed
Desperate in Colorado


Desperate,
Well, first let me say that I think you should date whomever you want, within reason of course :), and not have to select a type of guy such as "cowboy". Doing that is basically eliminating all the great guys that aren't cowboys that you could have a great relationship with.

Second, you say your mom doesn't like your boyfriend, but you do....even though he treats you like dirt, and spends all his time with his friends? Although I'm glad you're asking for advice and choosing for yourself, I think your friends might be right on this one. For one thing, it doesn't matter what size, shape, height you are, you deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone does. Another point I'd like to make is that if your boyfriend is heavy into drugs, he might not be the greatest influence on you. Now, I'm not going to act like your mom and harp on the drug issue, but I've seen first-hand the effects of them. And pretty soon you may find that your boyfriend will be more into drugs than he is into you.

Partying on weekends is fine. It's fun, social and hey, it's a WEEKEND!! Okay almost everyone drinks every now and again, but it's understandable that your mom is worried. Not too many mothers are all happy about their kids going out and getting drunk every weekend. But if you can't have fun without drinking (which I'm sure you can...) then I'd be really worried.

My advice to you is to find a boy who respects and treats you well, cowboy or not. You're the one dating him, not your mom right? Also, make sure your mom knows that you're doing other things, like shopping, playing pool, or just hanging out with friends, Preferably clean ones....so she won't think your drinking all the time, which you shouldn't....

Good Luck, and don't worry you'll find a great guy, just remember to be confident, guys like girls who are confortable with themselves.

Kristine :)


DEAR KRISTINE,
MY BEST FRIEND FROM LAST YEAR IS MAKINGA FOOL OUT OF ME THIS YEAR SHE TALKS BEHIND MY BACK AND SAID MEAN THINGS ABOUT MY NEW FRIEND TO THERE FACE AND THEY JUMPED HER AND NOW SHE IS MAD AT ME.
BYE,
DESTINY


Destiny,
I think you should lose her as a friend period. Real friends don't talk behind eachothers backs, or say mean things about anything she likes, espescially people. Not that I approve of the jumping thing, I guess she's got to learn to keep her mouth shut. Don't even worry about her getting mad at you, you should be mad at her, not the other way around. I'm sure you have better things to do than bother with backstabbers. Don't bother trying to get back at her, or talk behind her back, you don't want to act as childish as she is. Let her know if she wants real friends, then she's going to have to learn to act like one.
Kristine :)



Parents don't like my friends!

Kris:
My parents don't like my friends! They are constantly bugging me when there around, and telling me that they're bad influences. They've even told methat I'm no longer to hang out with them anymore! They're my best friends, and are not wierd, bad, or 'teenage punks'. How can I make my parents understand that I have a right to hang around anyone I want to, and make
them understand that my friends are not bad influences?
Jamie

Jamie:
First, is there any particular reason your parents have negative feelings toward them? Have they gotten into trouble that your parents know about? Are you mouthy or negative to your parents when you're around them?

If it's not any of these things, then ask them exactly what it is they don't like about them. Ask them to give them a fair chance and to allow themselves to get to know them first, before they pass judgement. Don't scream, or get really defensive, the conversation won't get anywhere, and your parents won't pay attention to what you're saying.

Get your friends to come over, (make sure you have the OK of your parents, otherwise they won't think any better of them) and maybe have dinner at your house. Encourage a little conversation, (I know, yuck, you don't want to hang around your parents, but believe me, it's to your benefit in the end) but don't put your parents on the spot, (things like 'see, they aren't juvenile deliquents mom!, are not the things you should say.)

On the other hand, if they have gotten into trouble in the past, ask your parents to give them another chance, point out there good points and tell them that it won't happen again. Hopefully they'll keep and open mind.
Good Luck!


Dear Kristine,
I'm in eighth grade and so is this guy I like. A few weeks ago he told me he liked me. A week later he wrote something very offensive on my desk at school. After that everything was back to normal. But today, he was acting differntly and not talking to me. I confronted him and he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. I haven't done anything to him, but I was absent for a while and I wonder if something could've happened while I was gone. The main problem is that I still like him. What should I do?
signed, really confused

Dear Really Confused,
I think this boy you like is having a hard time deciding what he wants. Maybe you should find out if something did happen while you were absent, that could be an explanation to his attitude. I know it must hurt to hear him say he wants nothing to do with you, but don't get upset with him unless you know if there is a good reason why he's angry.

If there isn't, then you should confront him to his all of a sudden having no interest in you. That isn't fair and he should at least give you a reason why. It's perfectly understandable that you still like him, and deep down he probablly still likes you, but is having a hard time dealing with it, or trying to decide if he should be angry about whatever might have happened while you were absent.....Don't give up yet unless he is still acting cold and rude towards you.

There are alot nicer guys out there and I'm sure you're bound to get
sick of being treated like dirt. Good Luck. I hope things work out, and if they don't work out with him, I'm sure they'll work out with someone else.

Kristine :)

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